High-Functioning Anxiety: The Secret Struggle and How to Tackle It Without the Superhero Cape
Have you ever…
Felt like you’re juggling flaming swords and drinking coffee while riding a unicycle on a tightrope, except everyone around you is like, “Wow, they really have it together!” Yep, that’s high-functioning anxiety in a nutshell. It's that sneaky type of anxiety where you’re silently freaking out, but from the outside, you look like you’ve got your life together. This is a more common struggle than many realize, but the good news is—if you recognize the signs and take steps, you don’t have to keep wearing that superhero cape (which, spoiler alert: it's burning you out).
The Silent Struggle of High-Functioning Anxiety: "I’m Doing Fine, Right?"
The misconception: "If you’re still functioning, you’re not really anxious, right?" The truth: High-functioning anxiety is still anxiety. The “doing fine” part on the outside doesn’t cancel out the emotional rollercoaster inside. Because it’s not about how well you’re doing on the outside, it’s about how well you’re feeling on the inside. SPOILER ALERT: You can be running on empty while looking like a motivational speaker.
High-functioning anxiety doesn’t always look like the typical panic attack. No, you’re not necessarily hyperventilating in the corner with a paper bag over your face (though, if you are, I’ve got nothing but empathy). Here’s the underlying problem: we tend to think that anxiety only counts if it’s loud. But just because you’re performing at a high level doesn’t mean you’re immune to anxiety. You look fine… but inside?
“It’s okay to be good enough. Perfection is the enemy of progress—and peace.”
Signs You Might Have High-Functioning Anxiety (The Sneaky Symptoms)
High-functioning anxiety doesn’t wear a neon sign. In fact, you might be so good at masking it that even your closest friends are convinced you have your act together. But if you’re secretly cringing at the thought of a “relaxing” weekend and can’t remember the last time you really took a deep breath, it might be time for a reality check:
Constant Overthinking: Every email, text, or social interaction is dissected multiple times in your head. Did I say the right thing? Was that too much? Am I too much?
Perfectionism: You’ve set the bar so high that you’re constantly jumping over it just to avoid the feeling of failure. But deep down, it feels like you’re on the verge of tripping over your own feet.
Constantly on the Move: You’re busy, right? You have more tabs open in your brain than your web browser. And somehow, everything feels like an emergency, even if it’s just picking out groceries. I mean, which cereal is really going to make you feel fulfilled as a person? The pressure is real.
Physical Symptoms That Are More Than Just “I’m Tired”: Your neck is as tight as your calendar. You feel a little shaky, but it's fine. And that persistent headache? Oh, that's just your body screaming for a break. It's not asking for much—just a nap, some peace, and maybe a hug from your pet.
Difficulty Relaxing: Even when you have time to unwind, your brain is still going at full speed. “Should I be doing something productive right now?”
Why It Feels Like You’re Stuck in the Driver’s Seat of a Speeding Car
High-functioning anxiety doesn’t always look dramatic, but the mental and emotional toll it takes can feel like an ongoing Spartan Race (https://www.spartan.com/). Despite the level of difficultiy, you’re trying to manage everything at once, but you don’t feel like you ever really "arrive" anywhere emotionally. Instead, you’re stuck in this cycle of stress without time to hit the brakes.
According to research by the American Psychological Association (APA), chronic anxiety is linked to burnout, which can lead to long-term physical health issues such as insomnia, depression, and cardiovascular problems (APA, 2020). So, if you’re thinking, "Maybe I should just push through it," your body might be sending you a warning signal, even if you’re not listening.
“High-functioning anxiety doesn’t always look the way you expect it to, but that doesn’t mean it’s any less real.”
How to Handle High-Functioning Anxiety (Without Turning into a Human Exploding Firework)
You don’t have to carry that superhero cape forever. Here are a few strategies to help you tackle high-functioning anxiety and start feeling better:
Acknowledge It: The first step in getting control over anxiety is realizing it’s there. Ignoring it only makes it louder. Just like you can’t heal a sprained ankle without admitting it’s there, you can’t fix your anxiety until you’re honest with yourself.
Accept That You’re Not Perfect: Perfectionism feeds anxiety. Instead of aiming for 100%, aim for "good enough." You can do this by reminding yourself that mistakes are part of being human. It’s like telling your inner perfectionist, “It’s okay to be a little messy.” (For some of you this might be more challenging if “being perfect” is a defense mechanism you’ve constructed to help protect you from feeling bad about yourself…)
Breathe and Break It Down: You might feel overwhelmed by all the tasks on your to-do list, but remember, you don’t have to do everything at once. Try breaking your tasks into bite-sized chunks. And if you can, take short breaks to breathe, stretch, or walk around. Your brain needs the oxygen, trust us.
Talk About It (Seriously, It's Not Weak): High-functioning anxiety can make you feel like you’re a burden to others, but actually, the more you talk about it, the less isolated you’ll feel. Talking to a therapist, friends, or family can make a huge difference in alleviating the mental load you’re carrying.
Learn to Say No: Not every invite, request, or project is your responsibility. Channel your inner Gandalf—say “You shall not pass!” when it comes to overloading your schedule. It’s okay to draw the line and protect your peace.
Limit Social Media: Comparison is the thief of joy—and sanity. Social media can make you feel like everyone is living their "best life" while you're stuck in a mental loop of anxiety. Limiting screen time can help reduce feelings of inadequacy.
Therapy for Anxiety: High-functioning anxiety can often be addressed with therapy. There are several therapy techniques are particularly effective for helping individuals with high-functioning anxiety gain control over their thoughts and behaviors—and stop running that rat race.
How might someone approach high-functioning anxiety in therapy?
While Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is commonly used to treat anxiety, Internal Family Systems (IFS) offers a unique, effective way to address high-functioning anxiety, especially when anxiety is tied to unresolved internal conflicts:
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a therapeutic approach that views the mind as made up of different “parts” that each serve a specific function. These parts can include those that are anxious, self-critical, perfectionistic, or avoidant. In IFS, the therapist helps clients identify these different parts and their roles, allowing individuals to better understand their internal conflicts and work toward self-healing.
In high-functioning anxiety, many individuals struggle with conflicting parts—such as a “Perfectionist” part that demands high standards, and an “Anxious” part that feels afraid of failure. These parts may be in constant conflict, creating emotional turmoil. Through IFS, individuals can learn how to recognize and communicate with these parts, creating internal harmony.
IFS works by encouraging individuals to:
Identify and understand the roles of different internal parts (e.g., the inner critic, the anxious self, the caretaker)
Develop self-compassion and understanding for each part
Create a sense of balance where parts can work together rather than being in conflict
Promote healing by helping individuals access their Self—a core, wise, compassionate part of the individual that can guide and manage the other parts.
Research has shown that IFS can be particularly helpful for anxiety, as it addresses deep-seated emotional conflicts and helps individuals build stronger internal self-awareness. A study published in the Journal of Psychotherapy Integration (2015) found that IFS significantly improved anxiety symptoms by helping clients understand and manage the different parts of themselves.
In a nutshell
High-functioning anxiety is real, it’s exhausting, but it doesn’t always have to run the show. Recognizing the signs, challenging perfectionism, and getting support can help you take back control in order to create a life that feels more manageable. With the right strategies and therapy, you can stop juggling flaming swords and start living with more peace.
I’m here to help
Feeling overwhelmed by high-functioning anxiety? You don’t have to go through this alone. If you’re looking for therapy in California or need support with managing anxiety, I’m here to help. Whether you’re based in Los Angeles or anywhere else in the state, you can reach out for in-person or virtual therapy.
Together, we can work through your distress and help you find a path to more peace and balance—without the constant worry.
References:
American Psychological Association. (2020). Chronic stress and burnout. APA Journal of Health Psychology.
Journal of Anxiety Disorders. (2022). Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Mindfulness for Anxiety. J Anxiety Disord, 58, 88-97.
This blog post was created with the assistance of AI to help with flow and organization.